Confidence Building for 12 Year Olds
The age of the child entering 12 years means that the child is starting to become a teenager where the world of friends is getting more and more extensive. It is important to equip children with confidence building for 12 year olds because adolescence is a time when children begin to know the world.
Of course, confidence building for 12 year olds children is different from 5-year-old children or toddlers. At the age of toddlers the realm of child association is still narrow where family factors are still dominant. Even if they have friends outside, not so many.
Well, if the child is in his teens, he is at least junior high school age. The range of friends is wider, the environment is more complex, and the activities are more.
Tips for Confidence Building for 12 Year Olds
1. Respect and Appreciate
Today's parenting patterns are no longer appropriate if you apply prohibitions to children without an explanation. Moreover, giving violence, both verbal and action, actually makes children rebellious.
Greater curiosity in children makes him always want to try new things, especially things that are forbidden. If you as a parent or educator cannot communicate well with your child, it will have a negative impact on the growth of the child's personality.
The issue of being respected and appreciated is very much needed by teenagers. Where he began to develop a sense of self-esteem in front of his friends or his environment.
So you can not yell or scold children in public. Or talk bad about children to other people. This really does not support the child's self-confidence because it makes it even more down.
What happened was that I didn't realize when I was a teenager. My parents or guardians still like to forbid me to play in front of my friends, as a result I am called my friends sloppy and my friends think my parents are fierce so they don't want to play with me. This makes me feel inferior and not confident anymore to be able to play outside the house.
I realized that what I needed at that time was support from my parents as people closest to me to be able to adapt well to the school environment and my playmates. But I didn't get it. This has more or less an impact on me when making decisions in life when I was growing up. The doctrine which was originally an unclear prohibition from my parents made me doubt my abilities. For example, when I learned to drive a vehicle, my parents had doubted me about whether I was brave. And those words turned out to be what managed to dull my courage until now so that I can't drive a vehicle. And still rely on public transportation.
Therefore, instead of forbidding the child or scolding him in front of his friends. You better invite their discussion. If it's about right or wrong, it can be communicated better so that the child will still feel confident because his self-esteem is maintained.
2. Don’t Indoctrinate Children
Well, this is like the illustration I explained about learning to drive a vehicle earlier. Even though I was taught cycling when I was learning, but as a teenager they doubted me whether I dared to drive a vehicle.
In my mind a vehicle means more risk than a bicycle. Although in fact yes but what often comes to my mind when I try it is whether I dare as they are doubted. Ah, why am I even doubting? And finally never learn and can not.
Doubting the ability of children is a negative doctrine about the failure that will be experienced by children. Children have imagined that failure is a fatal thing so they are afraid to try it.
It is better to instill in children not to be afraid to fail in trying new things that they believe in. Failure is not a scourge to be feared, but failure to be faced. Everyone has failed and its okay. Instead, failure makes you learn to be better.
3. Give Responsible Freedom
It is like freeing a child but at the same time tying it up. But in a better way. Confidence building for 12 year olds by giving them responsible is the right choice.
Because the level of socialization is also getting wider, the child also needs a wider range of motion. It is necessary for children to get that opportunity. This is a first experience for him.
Position yourself more as a friend to the child when the child enters adolescence. Because we need to know what kind of world the child is facing. Of course, the teenage phase of children will be different from the teenagers in our era.
By being a friend to him, the child will be more free to talk and be open to you. Let him tell the story without being afraid that we will judge. The more he can be honest with us, the better. It means that the child believes in us.
While he tells what he has encountered and what he feels, we can gradually give an idea of the condition that the child is currently facing. Instill in him the attitude of being responsible for what his decisions and actions are.
For example a child tells that his friend can get good ranking because he cheats. So don't just blame the kids who don't get good ranking. Give the child an idea of the consequences of cheating and convince him that honesty is priceless. That way the child will learn about every consequence of the actions he takes so that the child has a sense of responsibility towards himself.
4. Care About Others or Yourself
Often children are confused in determining their attitude when faced with a choice of two things. What if a condition puts him in a dilemma between helping others or being selfish.
If based on the ethics that are taught, it really helps others. However, it turns out that this cannot be applied to all things. So don't generalize.
We must first see what the case is like. If this is related to the mental health of children, then self-interest is not a sin, it is form of self love. Instead of loving yourself first, the results will be better when later the child can spread love by helping others. Compared to children, they feel compelled to help others even though they themselves are confused and in trouble.
That way the child will be more confident to determine what their next action will be.
5. Don’t Force Your Will on Your Child
It's not the time anymore if you adhere to conventional parenting patterns by imposing your will on children. If in the past you told your children to be the person their parents wanted them to be, now this parenting style is no longer relevant.
Forcing the will on a child will only dwarf the child's self-confidence. Children doubt their abilities. And children will not feel happy, because the size of their life is determined by their parents.
Those are some tips that we can learn about confidence building for 12 year olds. As parent we must be good at positioning ourselves, when as parents and friends for children.