Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
The communication that exists between stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues can be better than between stepfather and stepson. This is because of the need for mutual acceptance between the stepfather and the stepdaughter. Unlike Stepson, who actually considers the stepfather to be his rival.
But it could also be that stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues are prone to conflict. This is because of differences in culture and family expectations, adaptation to create a new family, and how to get to know each character between family members related to new members.
It is necessary to call set boundaries, which is to determine the limits of what you can and cannot do as a stepparent.
Let's learn first what are the limitations that need to be considered to be a good stepparent.
Set Boundaries Between Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
1. Avoid attempts to replace biological parents
Your status as a stepfather is one that you must accept without trying to replace their biological parent. Because after all you will not be able to replace their biological parents.
Even if their biological parents have done bad things, it's not your right to tell your stepchildren to hate their biological parents. Let it be a thing of the past that you can fix by being a better stepparent.
Also avoid rushing to order or force stepchildren to call you mom or dad. Leave them with their understanding and awareness. Remember that even your stepchildren can develop their love and respect for you without calling you “mom or dad”.
2. No need to interfere with ex's parenting
Don't ever want to interfere with how your ex about parenting. Because your ex will definitely feel uncomfortable if you intervene without being asked.
Maintain a good relationship with your ex so that your child is more comfortable around you even though they are not with their former partner.
3. Don't get involved in fights between stepdaughter and spouse
Now this is what often happens where the stepfather is too defend to his partner when fighting with the stepdaughter. Obviously this situation will worsen your relationship with the stepdaughter.
Be neutral even if you want to defend one. Now your position is not only a partner but also the stepfather of the child who is your responsibility.
Give it your attention. Not being neutral but like they don't care. This attitude is not easy but also not so difficult if you have started to bond with children.
4. Don't vilify their biological parents
Although the actions of biological parents are bad, it is not your part to influence children to hate their biological parents.
Even if it comes out of your child's mouth at first, you just need to be a listener.
Your stepdaughter definitely needs more empathy from you, not provocation. So you don't have to go along with humiliating their biological parents.
In addition, the habit of badmouthing other people is a negative attitude that can affect children. Children will have a character or personality that is also negative in looking at things.
Anything About Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
Once you have established boundaries in your relationship with your stepdaughter, identify the following issues:
1. The age gap that is not too far can be a misunderstanding. This means that if you as a stepfather have an age gap with your stepdaughter who is not too far away, for example only 10 years, then attention and care are often misinterpreted as a form of partner love.
In fact, you are the mother's partner, not the child. So understand this so that there are no misunderstandings in the relationship.
The trick is to be reasonable in giving attention to children. No need to overdo it let alone put your heart like a couple.
2. Jealous Couple
Your partner, aka your stepdaughter's biological mother, may feel jealous if you are too close to your stepdaughter. Although not all like this, but what's wrong you avoid it.
The trick is to be open with your partner about how your relationship with the stepdaughter is. So your couple feels always involved and does not feel jealous.
3. Conflict with biological father
This conflict can occur because the biological father may not be willing to let his daughter have a stepfather. So he is too overprotective of his biological child who is your stepdaughter. If this is the case, good and smooth communication is the key.
Relationships that trigger this conflict will make children confused. He didn't know who to get closer to. Even though he needs a father figure but a biological father cannot be replaced.
In addition, differences in parenting patterns can also cause conflict. For example, stepdaughters are more comfortable with their biological father's upbringing so they can't be too close to their stepfather. What you can do in this case is to approach him slowly and understand what your stepdaughter likes or dislikes.
There could be things that your stepchildren don't openly talk about with you. This is because stepdaughter are introverted child and find it difficult to accept the presence of strangers in her lives.
4. Disagreement with stepdaughter
This difference of opinion does not only occur between the stepfather and stepson but also between the stepfather and the stepdaughter. The name of a child growing up must have his own thoughts.
Differences of opinion can be a natural thing to get a positive solution. However, it is also not uncommon for differences of opinion to trigger unresolved conflicts.
The solution depends on you and your stepson, where good communication can work or not.
Those are some of the stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues that may occur. These issues are not something that can be simply avoided. However, if you can set the limits above, the issues will only strengthen your relationship with your stepdaughter. On the other hand, if you can't set boundaries then be prepared to have a bad relationship with your stepdaughter.
The presence of a new person in the family does not always run smoothly. Rejection at the beginning became a common thing that happened because of changes in the atmosphere. Maybe the children are already comfortable so it is difficult to accept new people.
But you as a stepfather or stepparent also don't have to worry about continuing the relationship. There is always an opportunity to be a good stepparent.
Communication, openness, attention and appreciation in the family can have a positive impact on existing problems. This applies not only to the relationship between stepparents and stepchildren, but also to biological parents.
I'm not saying there are no problems, because every relationship will have its own challenges. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare and be a good person for yourself and those around you. That way you will always be able to conquer the stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues.