To Help Someone To Make Someone Feel More Confident
In my opinion, self-confidence means that we live. Because without self-confidence, we will feel numb, living under the shadows of others where our wants and needs are not being met properly.
Some conditions that make a person feel lost in self-confidence can be caused by trauma and depression. It is important to help someone to make someone feel more confident so that he can move on with his life again. For how to restore self-confidence after depression, you can read here.
In this article, I want to discuss what if our position is not the one who experiences this insecurity, meaning that we are the companions. It is necessary for us to find a way so that what we give to help them can be maximal and make them recover. Don't let them get worse.
To Help Someone To Make Someone Feel More Confident, What Should We Do?
What steps can be taken to help someone to make someone feel more confident, here are the steps that you can do.
1. Give Your Empathy, Not Sympathy
When we first meet someone who may have a disability, most of us will say, "I know how it feels." Stop saying that 'cause it's just making you smarter. The truth is you don't really know how he feels because you're not in his position.
So it's better to be honest, "I'm not sure how you feel right now. All I know is that it's not easy. So I'm here right now to listen to your story". This sentence is actually powerful to represent ourselves to empathize with other people's conditions.
So instead of being sympathetic and knowing, it's better to empathize with him through what is bothering him.
2. They just need to be heard, not judged
After honing your empathy, then the next is how you practice being a good listener. Don't give any rating if they don't ask. Most of us still like to make judgments, like what you did was right/wrong.
Better be prepared to hear more. The attitude that pretentiously regulates other people's lives does not actually have a positive effect. Maybe our intentions are good, we want them to get up soon and do good things. But no, leading people to act the way we want is not the solution. Let them find the way that they think is best and comfortable.
3. Do not be toxic positivity
What we often don't realize is being toxic to other people. At first we gave advice but it was too much which only made them feel compared. An example of toxic positivity is that your situation is not much compared to the person who..., just take the lesson, just be grateful for what happened because something worse could happen to you, throw away your negative feelings, etc.
Taking care of your partner's mental health is just as important as your own mental health. So don't say things that make them even more helpless.
4. Do not make them depend on you
Instead of making them more dependent on you, you should encourage them to find themselves so they can be confident in making decisions in life.
I'm sure you don't want to continue to be burdened with the problems he is experiencing because you too must have your own problems. Therefore, help them become more independent.
Some of the following ways may help find someone's identity:
a. Make list of fears
Making a list of these fears can be a bitter medicine. Because he has to re-imagine the things that frighten him, such as losing. But if you don't do it like a wound, it's just ignored, not treated, which results in getting worse.
b. Make list of achievements
If you have made a list of your fears, the next thing is to look back on your achievements. When a person can imagine again the moments when he was successful in his life then slowly his confidence can recover and can find himself again.
c. Try to do something new that makes happy
Trying to do new things that you want to try but are constrained by time and your own feelings. That's where a person can find happiness again that feels that I can.
d. Look for successful people who have experienced the same past of problems
This is what I used to do after resigning from work, feeling like I was earning but now I don't, and to get up again I need a positive stimulus. The way I find out a lot of information about the stories of people who met their lowest point and was able to rise again. I wrote all of that on my blog www.fatihinspira.com. In my opinion, this method is quite effective because I also feel that what I am experiencing is a natural thing and anyone can experience it. Then I know how they bounce back. After all, they can be successful. So who knows the future of people, but what is certain is that the future is ours.
5. Make them believe their heart
Don't force your will on them because it will only reduce their self-confidence. Instead, praise them, not only for achievements, but for the smallest things you can do. For example, by saying thank you. So that they can begin to appreciate everything that is done by themselves.
Someone who is not confident will tend to feel confused so he leaves his life decisions to others. Therefore, it is the duty of the companion to make them able to express what their heart says and then believe it.
6. Being a good support system
At this stage you can slowly let them go to get back to being confident. Keep being a good support system for him by offering free time to listen to him. Again, don't judge. Let them judge for themselves the good and the bad. And don't be sympathetic.
People who have a good support system tend to recover faster from trauma and depression because they are in a positive environment.
Restoring one's self-confidence is not as easy as returning one's own self-confidence. Because those feelings belong to someone else, not us. Therefore, do not dictate to them but listen and give opinions as necessary without judge.
Those are some tips to help someone to make someone feel more confident. You can position yourself as a partner, not a judge of his life.