Marriage Problems in Your 60s
Basically every relationship has its own problems. Not spared also in the marital relationship. Especially if the marriage has a different background that can affect it, namely differences in culture, religion, age, etc.
In this article, I want to discuss about marriage problems in your 60s. Incidentally last month I also attended my brother's wedding at their age who are not young anymore.
As with other marriages that occur at a young age, problems in the household at an old age are unavoidable. So what's the point of having a problem? Why did it happen?
Kind of Marriage Problems in Your 60s
Even though he is no longer young, marriage at this age should not be considered taboo. Maybe if it's considered rare, it's okay. Even in Islamic law, marriage at this age is permissible, meaning that it can happen. As long as you have good intentions, of course.
In fact, it could be that the marriage at this age is a bit of a conflict, unlike if the couple married young. Especially if the age of the married couple at this age is not far apart or could be the same age.
The least conflicts that occur because in their 60s marriages are mostly based on the purpose of wanting to have a life partner. The case would be different if the couple had a much different age. As I once read an article on a website where a grandfather in his 70s married a 25-year-old woman. The grandfather felt depressed because of the age difference where this was influenced by different life goals with his young partner. If grandfather wants to get married to accompany him in his old age, it is different from a young woman where she is still in search of identity.
Differences in life principles due to age that is too far apart can affect the quality of marital relations. There might be a lot of strife going on even though the older ones relented more.
So, what are the problems in marriage in your 60s ? It seems safe and there is no conflict.
As I said above that every relationship has its own challenges. The same goes for weddings at an early age. Conflicts that occur can come from internal or external. Internal conflicts will rarely occur if their marriage goals are the same because of one vision. Maybe along the way, they will encounter differences of opinion about physical and spiritual livelihood where old age has affected their willingness and ability to have physical relations. But this can be overcome if the partner is able to understand each other. Maybe at the age of twilight, they think it's enough to just make out. While external conflicts can come from children (if any), extended family, and the environment. In this old age marriage it is quite challenging to be able to get support from their children. Especially if the children still do not want their father or mother to marry someone else. Conflict usually arises quite often in this condition.
Other factors that cause conflict can come from extended families. Old age generally indicates that you are already established and married just to find your own happiness, so as not to be lonely, to have a partner in your old age. However, conflict arises when the extended family feels that attention is divided, especially in the form of finance. If the couple who married in old age were the backbone of the family so far, the person who had the best job and settled, then he is also the one who supports the lives of his younger siblings and their parents (if there are any).
Other conflicts from the environment are of course more people talking about who are always full of comments. Couples who marry in their old age will receive more comments, although not directly or behind their backs. Therefore, both must be completely immune to outside opinions that are negative and not constructive.
Do you know what your neighbors will say if someone gets married at the age of 60? It's all wrong, so there's no need to respond.
Overcoming Marriage Problems in Your 60s
How to solve these common problems?
Marriage actually comes from inner intentions. You should understand first what is the purpose of you marrying him?
In addition, you need to know and understand your potential partner. Even though they are old, it doesn't mean that people's nature will always be calm, because someone's character can change or not, whether he is angry, jealous, etc.
Understanding yourself and your partner will help you when dealing with conflict, whether it's internal or external conflict.
Before the wedding takes place, it is better to talk and approach your spouse's children. During this time the closest people to your partner are their children. If you don't approach then don't be surprised if they will find it hard to let go of their father or mother who will be your partner. They'll feel like you're stealing someone they've been close to. And that's where conflicts will continue to arise because the children don't feel right.
The second tip for dealing with external conflicts is to choose which conflicts really need to be resolved. The question of how important the person you are in conflict is can help you structure and sort the circle of relationships that surround you. If those people aren't that important to your life then there's no need to clarify or anything like that. But if it comes from your circle you need to straighten it back with better communication.
Actually, this question of other people's opinions does not only cause marriage problems in your 60s, even at a young age, or at the appropriate age for marriage, other people's words will always be there. Just pick and choose which one is a positive influence for you.
Coping with other people's opinions is the least easy in my experience is what if the talk comes from my circle, such as parents and family. It is quite difficult to reconcile and make them understand our life choices. However, you still need to process to be able to handle it properly. Maybe there are times when the problem will stick out but don't let it disturb your calm in positive thinking. Did you know that divorce often occurs due to external factors. Many opinions are accommodated and eventually make us doubt or even more convinced about the badness of our partner so choose to end the relationship. Yet where there is a perfect human. Every human being has their own bad. It's better to be a guard over your partner's ugliness so that people don't know it than to be a slanderer of disgrace just to get self-defense.
Although there is a tolerance limit in accepting our partner's ugliness, you should also have your own parameters that provide a limit to the extent to which you can tolerate. Therefore, it is quite important to know your partner from A to Z before deciding to get married.
The key to overcoming marriage problems in your 60s lies in good communication and compassion. Believe that love never knows the age limit.